Ya'll it's been a little while but let's get into it!! 🏽
So I'm processing a situation where I was unable to really get my words together and I had this thought. So I just needed to get this out.. whew!
I may not be able to always pretty up my words or speak in a way that makes you feel good all the time.
But when I love you I will move everything for you intentionally.♥️
I’m never to high or too involved in things that would allow me to EVER think that I would even get the audacity to play with God about the people he sends in my life.
Partly, why I dislike dating. Culture has turned dating into a patience-less hobby. When having the opportunity to learn and understand someone should be a gift even if it wasn’t the gift you asked for. Ghosting, being unresponsive, mistreating in trauma responses (which is pride and fear wrapped up into a sling shot). God ordered us to Love and Love is communicating, not communicating is confusion and we all know who the author of that is… and being unwilling to give grace or consult God about who someone is to you in your life is just plain ole disrespect to God’s leadership and really self worship.
I love God too much to be intentionally out of line. I really try to make sure my interactions with the hearts God allows me to entertain are self evaluated and examined so that if I had to answer to God about you I can.
I even decline in love, I don’t know any other way. You are allowed to create boundaries that allow to maintain Love without mistreatment. (Saying No & walking away is ok when done in love)
The flip side to that is when I’m hurting because I love the way I do, sometimes I want to unlove but I don’t come with that feature. Once you make your way into my prayers you stay there. Whether I talk to you or not and 10/10 chances are I’m still going treat you the same no matter how you did me because your value to me wasn’t rooted you. The people in my life their value is rooted in how I feel about God. That’s why I stay so guarded cause I can’t turn that on and off I don’t get to be dismissive or unbothered. I get the privilege to be passionate, compassionate, reflective, show light, love and govern the way the Lord leads me.
I’m flawed in many ways but what I have learned is my people see me and see my heart and we recover in all things.
The lost conversation:
First off It’s okay to have "off" days, weeks even months… life is life and everyone handles it differently.
You know how to tell the true intentions of a person that’s close to you? When they can see pass the”off” days just long enough to ask God “What is it that they need from me today?” Without operating in selfishness. Pay attention to people who's first response to you is based out of selfishness. In name of the overstatement of maintaining their peace.
Or realize you haven’t been who you need to be and “ask for forgiveness and be that”
Quick note: Peace founded in God can't be distrupted by anyone so if you lack peace in a situation you lack direction in regards to it, and if you seek the help of the Lord about how to deal with it ... the spirit gives responses rooted out of love.. not rejection.
Stop being afraid to communicate out of fear of self accountability or rejection. Friendships and relationships are about growth. Growing hurts sometimes, hearing things about yourself hurts sometimes. When your full dependence is in the Lord he turns ashes into beauty and mourning in to dancing. I'm more afraid now that operating in fear causes me to miss out on a really great experience and or relationship more than anything. God presents but be clear you can miss it!
The posture of your heart towards God matters in ALL your relationships it keeps you from staying in selfishness. It allows the Holy Spirit to redirect you.
When you are truly praying for the people in your life the spirit God will help you navigate with Grace. Furthermore, God trust you with the hearts of the people around you. Take is seriously!
Maintaining relationships requires work and has no room for ego or pride.
Full Transparency: I'm recovering from all the many times I’ve been discarded without grace.(friendships and relationships) No chance to NOT be misunderstood, no thought to who I was to them and no thought to how the unbothered-ness would truly impact my heart. Pursued in appearance and yet still unseen. Games have never been my thing.. never been interested in the giving the silent treatment or stalling someone out. I've never had one desire to leave anyone friend or love interest confused in anyway. In fact I've only wanted to show love in the way I understand it. The gift of being able to really understand how real love looks and feels at times has left me broken in pieces, I couldn't begin to describe. Some would call me naive, the thing is I love how God wired me to love and I have no desire to change just to have a better discernment along the way.
I’m doing alright and becoming more whole everyday and with every new experience. Because the rejection has motivated me to show love in the toughest places and given a glimpse of how God feels trying to love me… he mends broken hearts so trust him to do so for you like he has for me . Also, make sure you’re not the one breaking them as well and pray for the people that are, typically they are suffering in silence.
The people God truly placed in your life "See" you and they don't play about you. They are bothered when when things are not right with you and seek to understand how to love you. So hold on tight...
We're on this journey together ♥️