I'm Back!

I haven’t written for my blog in a really long time, some of the reasons are because life is and has done what it does best and Life’ d.

Other reasons include the fact that when I started this journey, I didn’t know I still had so much more healing to do.

The blog was supposed to be about transparency and all this vulnerability. The same vulnerability and transparency that I spent most of my post divorced life complaining that other people were not giving.  Longing to feel safe with people on top this environment of dating that at the time… I just felt like was comparable to a naïve game of craps (shooting dice).  But I myself was finding it hard to be the very thing I wanted others to show up as in my life. I couldn’t write because writing for me is about sharing my truth. Sharing my truth at this moment and a year ago was and is too hard, because it meant and it means that I really have to come clean about my thoughts, my feelings, and my life.

How could something I wanted to do, now feel like a burden or even just a space in me I wasn’t sure I wanted to trust anyone with anymore?  I have no clue, but it did! And it still does… all I know is God told me to write.  Not to worry about being perfect and to get over that fact that I may certainly be misunderstood!

I distinctly remember asking one of my very close friends if she had read my blog, and by this time there were several posts on the blog. She definitely told me ‘No” I can recall in that moment just feeling so disappointed that the person closest to me at that time wouldn’t even make time to support a labor of my heart, something that was free, at that!  What she said stuck with me though she said “You ever thought about recording audio to it? I’d probably listen to that; I just don’t have time to read.” I was so hurt; I remember thinking I support everything you do!! Literally! And you don’t have time to read a few two-minute posts? But I said nothing to that extent, in fact the only thing I could mustard up to say was … Writing is my gift and audio is not the same as writing, I will have to trust that the people who are supposed to read it will read it.  I left that call feeling so irrelevant and it wasn’t her fault for how I felt, that was her truth. It was in that moment that God begin to deal with me. I started to understand that even the closest people to you doesn’t equate access to your God-given dreams. Those dreams are for you.  I did attempt to record some audio to the blog, you know record the things I had written previously but the Holy Spirit gave me different instructions.  With that being said I was reassured and validated by God himself to do what he said do. Use the fact that the people who really are led to read it, will! The people that aren’t led to read it won’t and well….  let it be to your advantage and your practice ground to being authentic, and vulnerable and free.  So welcome to my life! Obedience is what God is after, validation comes from him! & HIM only!

Do what God is telling you to do... cause after all Obedience is better than sacrifice. Plus you just never know what God is up to!

As always...We got this!! We are in this together. Let's Grow!

Meet you in the next Blog …. It’s going to be good…