Co-Parenting Series Pt. 3- Wisdom Over Emotion

Co-Parenting -Day 3:

Wisdom Over Emotion

Honestly, this isn’t just for co-parenting — it’s a life principle. Making rushed, hurried decisions in the heat of any emotion, whether it’s happiness, anger, or even excitement, usually doesn’t end well. Emotions aren’t bad — God gave them to us — but they were never meant to be the driver of our choices.

In co-parenting, emotions run high. Hurt, frustration, disappointment, or even pride can push us to react instead of responding. But wisdom asks us to pause. To breathe. To remember that every choice has fruit — and the fruit of wisdom lasts much longer than the fruit of emotion.

The tricky thing about making decisions or having conversations out of emotion is honestly it’s impossible to truly listen when emotions are running high; your mind in that moment finds zero fault in self-actions. Wisdom doesn’t mean you don’t feel. It means you choose not to let feelings make the final decision. It means you invite God into the moment and allow His Spirit to guide your words, your actions, and even your silence when needed.

I’m wired to be emotional; it’s a gift and a curse and one of the ways that it played out in my co-parenting is I would allow my emotions to make be say hurtful things about my ex’s past to try to make him feel bad. I did it so much that without knowing I was just building up his ability to be numb towards everything I asked or said.  Other ways this can show up, in visitations… not allowing the other parent to see the children or child based on emotions that was birthed and seeded from hurt of the relationship between the two parents.  Questions that we can ask to remove emotion from any co-parenting decision:

“If I take my feelings out of this, what choice is actually best for my child?”

“Will my response bring peace or add fuel to the fire?”

“How will I feel if I have to explain this decision to my child later?”

“Is my child really being impacted by a failed commitment, or I am in my feelings because the other parent didn’t do what I asked them to do?”  (I ask myself this question very often)

The truth is, responding with wisdom can feel harder in the moment, because emotion wants quick release. But wisdom brings peace, while raw emotion often brings regret.

3 Practical Ways to Make Wise Choices

1. Pause Before Responding– Give yourself space. Step away from the text, email, or conversation if needed. Even a 5-minute pause can shift you from reacting emotionally to responding wisely.
2. Seek God in Prayer– Before making a decision, whisper a simple prayer: “Lord, give me wisdom right now.” James 1:5 reminds us that God will freely give wisdom to those who ask.
3. Think Beyond the Moment– Ask yourself: Will this choice bring peace or chaos later? Wisdom is considered long-term fruit, while emotion only focuses on the immediate release.

Prayer

Father, I thank You for giving wisdom freely when I ask. Help me not to be ruled by my emotions, but to pause and invite You into every decision I make. Teach me to respond in peace, patience, and discernment, so that my choices reflect Your heart. Let wisdom guide me and let my responses bring life instead of regret.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

In full transparency, it has spark many conversations between my husband and I this week. I've come to the conclusion, if we can get co-parenting right if heals so many people and protects the children in so many ways. Child support doesn't fix it, if fact I think it makes it worse gives if two people are both still unhealed. 

Emotional Wholeness is the goal... For all parties involved.

A mother at my church once told me  " Treat & talk to your husband like God is his daddy, cause he is and he don't play about him either" although she was giving marriage advice , I've been trying to treat everyone that way... cause it's the truth whether I'm right & they are wrong, God still loves them the same and protects them in the same way.

The word says "in all thy ways get wisdom." 

Proverbs  4:7- "Wisdom is the principle thing; therefore get wisdom; with all thy getting get understanding."

The key word is  "get", and  actually it is a command. The goal is not to allow how I feel to put me in disobedience and if I find that it has to repent quickly and ask God for wisdom to make it right.

As always I hoped this blessed you. It's helping me certainly... We are well on our way to healing!